2.18.2015

A Real Swine Time

What's a farm without pigs?  My friend had a pig, and she doesn't live on a farm.  We live on a farm, and didn't have a pig.  So, naturally I had to fix that.  I had to have a pig of my very own.  I wanted my very own little camera hog.  I needed piggy portraits to share with the cyber public.  I had to have a pig to buy a pink halter for, and to dress in a tutu.  I had to have a pig so I could name it Matilda.  So, I got a pig.  A "miniature" potbelly pig and I named her Matilda.   

The first piggy we ever owned, the legendary Matilda
Sadly, Matilda didn't last long out here.  She and our dog, Shadow, went on a walkabout to the river.  Our dog came back after hours of me looking for them.  As soon as I hollered out my last, "here piggy, piggy, piggy" and called off the search, our dog came walking back up the dirt road.  I was relieved to see him, and was certain that Matilda would be in tow.  But she wasn't.  Our dog came back without her, and that could only mean one thing; Matilda was gone.  If dogs could talk I'm pretty sure he would have said something like this: "We went on a rabbit hunting adventure.  Matilda got thirsty so she walked down to the pond to get a drink.  She fell in.  I tried to save her.  My paw reached for her hoof but it was too late.  She was gone.  Gone pig, gone."  

The weird thing is, I think Matilda is still out there.  People swear they have Matilda sightings, and call, text, and FB message me informing me they have seen her or they know who has her.  But the leads are only dead ends.  I know that somewhere out there she is rooting in some pasture and wallowing in mud, I'm sure of it.  

It wasn't long before Operation: Pig Replacement ensued.  You see, Matilda had a public engagement scheduled at my children's school.   Since she disappeared who would take her place?  Being the sucker that I am I was talked into getting another pig.  I'm a woman of my word and if I say I'll show up with a pig, I will show up with a pig, even if I'm suckled suckered into it.  I found the breeder, and she had one piggy left, Matilda's sister, Lottie.  So, Lottie moved into the barn and life was good again.

Lottie catches some serious air as she flies to the barn upon hearing the dinner bell. 
Lottie sneaks a peek under the Christmas tree.  This stunt earned her the nickname "Naughty Lottie".
What's the fun with just having one pig?  As soon as I was beginning to feel like Lottie needed pig pal, my friend contacted me frantic and worried about the future of her pig, Wilbur.  Wilbur and her dog had gone on a walkabout of their own, and were spotted by some well meaning meanie who called animal control to report that a stray pig was roaming the neighborhood.  Well, that stray pig was not a stray at all.  Wilbur happens to be one of the most loved and well known pigs alive.  He even has a social media fan following.  The city, it turns out, frowns on pigs living in town.   My friend was told to unload her little piggy.  She called us and asked if we would be willing to take Wilbur in to avoid him being sent to the poky.    We said, “Sooooooie!  A pig of yours is a pig of ours!”  It was an honor to come to Wilbur's rescue.  Plus, his city momma comes to visit which means I get to see my friend more often.   
The following three pictures courtesy: Wilbur's city momma
A little bit at a loss for words here.  The cuteness of baby Wilbur is just too much!
Wilbur was destined to live out here on the farm.  Having spent a lot of time as a pampered inside pig at his previous home, I worried about how he would fare out in the barn.  It turns out that he prefers the great outdoors and barn life to the comforts only a home with central heat and air can provide.  He was tickled pink to trade in his cushy bed for a place in the hay.  Who needs a warm cozy home when you have countless mud holes to wallow in, flower beds to root in and destroy, and pastures of green grass to nibble in?  Wilbur is one smart pig.  He knows his place.  

Prior to living on a farm Wilbur was quite helpful with household chores.  Now he keeps the grass and weeds down.
Move over Kardashians!  Wilbur has a photo shoot of his own and attains celebrity status.  
Wilbur and Lottie have become quite the pair.  They are partners in swine.  After Lottie established dominance, it wasn't long before Wilbur surrendered his will  to his new found love.  He happily bows at her every beck and oink.  They are inseparable.  You won't see one without the other.  They love to roam and root together.  Chasing horses or being chased by horses is a sport they share together.  Wilbur and Lottie even spoon.  They can be found spooning under a mound of straw in their stall.  We have our very own pigs in a blanket out here.  But don't get too excited.  Unfortunately, they are both fixed and won't be having any piglets.  Sniff, sniff.  Seriously.  How cute would that have been?  I know!  Dang it!  Why did we have them fixed?  Oh yeah, I remember.  Because a pig in heat is not fun for anyone and harmful to the environment as the potent odor they put off is quiet toxic.  Wilbur was fixed because a pig with a pair is a pig with attitude and ain't nobody got time for a pig with attitude.

Wilbur and Lottie enjoy a picnic on a sunny day.  
I am the unlikely farm girl.  More than that, I’ll be hammed if I wasn’t voted most unlikely to raise pigs.  Never, ever!  But as Big Dog always says, "Can't never could." So there you have it.  If there is one thing I can promise I will promise you this: I will continue to share the swine with updates, stories and pictures.  Pigs are just too much fun!

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