August 18, 2016


August 18, 2016
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One of four seasons, traditionally the second, marked by whining children, hot flashes, and severe insanity. Typically a season truly despised by really honest moms. 

The only cure for suckmmer is Back to School.  Adios suckmmer!  

Back to school for them, to the pool for me for the win!
My Suckmmer Bucket List 
-Make the barn look like a scene straight out of Southern Living Magazine
-Hatch baby chicks
-Teach the kids to speak Spanish
-Lose 15 pounds (You know, the 15 I gained while homeschooling last year)
+Gain an appreciation and taste for whiskey
-Start writing a children’s book
-Grow acres and acres of wild flowers
-Get into American Ninja Warrior shape
+Eat lots and lots of tacos and nachos and pizza

I know.  How very sophisticated of me.  First, I successfully accomplished appreciating the taste of whiskey.  Imagine that.  #momgoals  Second, even though it wasn’t originally on my bucket list, I did succeed at taking Taco/Nacho/Pizza Tuesday 24/7 to a champion level so I thought I’d add it as a win. GOLD!

Not only did I not accomplish any redeeming goals, this happened...

Whilst swimming in our very rarely sparkling blue pool with my dear children, I became known as the “Dot-to-Dot Mom”.  Such an honor.  My sweet, big brown eyed Henry so kindly pointed out the “disgusting brown bumps on my skin”.  AKA: Moles.  He managed to point out every single mole on my body not covered by my skirted senior citizen bathing suit I bought on clearance.  *Please note that the last time I wore a modest two piece Henry advised me that I needed to cover myself more because I was a mom with tummy marks (scars) and nobody wanted to see that.   

R.I.P sweet moments by the pool with this guy!
Gee, thanks Henry.  I feel so good about myself, my moles and my senior citizen bathing suit.  Know this, any confidence I had after accepting the uninsurable hail damage on the back of my legs went straight into the pool skimmer along with the june bugs, frogs, moles (the rodent kind) and rats.  I am no longer convinced honesty is a virtue.  Honesty is really rude.  Honestly. 

A dear friend bought me this tee.  You can get one too at Calamity Jane's
And just so you know, although I may appear chubby due to the excessive “water retention”, I assure you, I am as sucked dry as the bottom of my diet Dr. Pepper Sonic drink.  There is nothing left.  Nothing.  

Not mentioned on my bucket list is getting acquainted with snapchat.  
“I’ll miss you summer” - Said no mother.  Ever.  

And if they did they are lying!  Peace out.