April 20, 2016

Yes, I'm That Mom

April 20, 2016
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So you know, I was going on about my usual day of swimming through waves of chaos, schedule changes, surprise practices, and chicken pasty butt removal (sickest thing EVER). I didn't know it at the time but at 6:30 that morning I had set myself up for a "Mega Mommy Moment".  I was fresh out of packed lunch must haves so I told the littles I would bring them lunch (something I NEVER try to do because you get sucked into this trap of guilt trips that I just don't need in my life).   Anyway long story short, Big Dog was leaving for a trip that day so we decided to take the littles out for lunch together! How fun, right?  Hooray for me.  I was going to be a cool mom and check her kids out of school for lunch with mom AND dad.  Score!

Big Dog pulled up to the school and I hopped out and mall-walked myself right into the building and proudly proclaimed I was there to check the kids out for lunch.  I slid into the cafeteria and set my eyes upon the sea of children searching for Thing One and Thing Two.  I couldn't spot them right away so I kept looking... and looking... and looking.  My heart may have started to race a bit.  I squinted my eyes thinking I could get a better look at where they might be sitting.  The excited anticipation of me surprising them with the news started to decline.  Where were Thing One and Thing Two?  Just as I was about to squint a little harder and scan the room again, a mom touched my arm.  
"Sea" what I mean?

Mom: "Hey Carol.  Who are you looking for?"

Me:  "Oh, hey.  Oh, I'm here to get the twins and take them OUT to lunch."  

Mom:  "The twins?"

Me:  "Yes, the twins.  I'm here to take them to lunch but I don't see them."

Mom:  "Um, well, the twins are in first grade.  This is kindergarten."

Just nano seconds before, I was a casually cool mom.  I even had lipstick and real shoes on.  I looked like I could run for PTA President or at the very least chair a committee.  But now I was white, weak, and suddenly stupid.  

Me:  "First grade?  Right. First grade."  It was like I'd never uttered the words "first grade".

Mom: "Yeah.  First grade."

I was too embarrassed to even laugh at myself or try to play it off.  I had fallen hard in the pit of mommy despair.  I walked back into the office and the polite ladies sat there with a gentle smile on their face knowing what I had just done.  

In trying to capture my humility, I instead realize that my hand is HUGE against my face.
I later texted the mom apologizing for my idiotic behavior.  I felt like the dumbest mom ever.  I mean, who doesn't know what grade their kids are in?  It's one thing to call them every name but their own, even the dogs name.  But to not know their grade?  Not to mention that it's the end of the school year!  I've had almost a full year of first graders.  Thankfully, her response fished me out of my sea of despair.  She told me I wasn't alone.  That my "incident" made her feel better about her "incidents".  Moms unite! We are not alone.  We are all "That Mom".  

PS:  This wasn't the first time I forgot they were in first grade.  I sat outside the kindergarten room waiting for my turn at parent/teacher conferences.  Twenty minutes went by before I realized I was at the wrong grade, at the wrong time, on the wrong day for Pete's sake!  Cheers! 

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